Chapter 33
When Ciara left to go to Paris, there were a lot of instances where she thought about what happened to her and Callum in the past. She even thought of telling him that she was pregnant.
Will he listen to her, or will he still side with the woman who’s more special and whom he met first before her?
She had no clue what kind of relationship they had, but Callum was always that happy every time she would see him with Shane. It was in those moments that she realized that she was the only woman whom he got in a relationship with-the reason why Callum was probably treating Shane so differently.
It was that fear that grew in her-and the moment he defended ber and stood by her side, choosing Shane over her, she saw the answer to her fear-that if she might have cried because she was pregnant at that time, she would bleed to death even more because she wasn’t enough for Callum to choose her.
But she never even imagined that after how many years she would be able to say everything she failed to say at that moment. And Callum, who she thinks is so mighty and confident, is shedding tears and crying like he has lost the greatest war of his life.
“You’ve given me a reason to… divorce you, Callum. I was too emotional at that time, too weak and vulnerable, because I was having a hard time dealing with it on my own. How could I even remain strong if the husband whom I wanted to fight with, stood on the other side and chose to fight against me?”
The last sentence made Callum’s knees so weak that he lowered down until he was now kneeling on the floor, his head bowed, and his shoulders rocked even more.
To see him at his lowest, Ciara didn’t know that it would hurt. Despite how painful the past was, despite being abandoned, she never wished for Callum’s downfall. She moved on without bating him to the core, as she even wished that he had chosen the right path that would make him happy.
She heard his painful sobs as if he were mourning for something that he lost-or something that he unintentionally killed.
Ciara controlled her emotions, but she didn’t know that Callum would always affect her on great levels.
When a tear escaped from her eyes, she knew that she still wasn’t healed at that moment, and the scar from the past was so deep that she thought she had already treated it over the years, but then she was wrong.
The pain was still there; she just knew how to carry it skillfully
Callum slowly wrapped his arms around her legs, which made Cara’s eyes widen as he buried his face against her stomach. He embraced her so tightly and he bawled his eyes out, showing how regretful and sorry he was.
“Callum,” she called and tried to pull him up, but Callum was persistent.
“No, I now understand why you were so mad at me. Because after knowing the truth, I don’t think… I could even forgive- myself as well,” he whispered in his cracked voice.
Ciara’s tears were now falling like a waterfall. Callum lifted his eyes, and Ciara was shocked to see how devastated he looked. His eyes screamed all the pain that she couldn’t even name,
The Callum that she thinks, who has no emotion of being weak and vulnerable, was crying and begging for something that only she could take his misery away.
“I can’t imagine the pain you’ve been through. I can’t imagine I’ve put you in that spot. You were carrying our child while trying to carry all of those burdens I made. I tried to save someone else while leaving you drowning on your own…” he sobbed
The pain was so vivid that she remembered everything as her tears rolled down her cheek. She was so hurt at that moment.
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Chapter 33
It was the first time that she felt at the lowest of lows as she watched the only man of his life cho
And
“I’m so sorry, Ciara,” he cried and buried his face against her stomach again.
someone else.
Ciara closed her eyes, as she couldn’t stop her tears from falling. She didn’t expect that it would still hurt him. The pain was just so deep that, despite the ‘years that had passed, she could no still forget everything.
my head, “I should have stayed by your side and told you that I was there for you. I should not have listened to the voices in thinking that you were always that strong and you could carry everything by yourself. You were always built differently from other girls. I should have realized that you’d be hurt too. But I didn’t. I am so sorry that I…overestimated your emotions,” he confessed wholeheartedly.
Ciara cried silently. She never thought that she would hear the apology she wanted to hear from him that day. He regretted choosing her. She was sorry. But she lost hope. She cannot watch him anymore because she knows that it was the last strength she had when she begged him to choose her at that time.
and I want another chance. I “I’m so sorry. Please let me pay for it. I want you back, Ciara. I have a lot of things to work on. want my chance. I want to fix us. I want to…love you right,” he begged as he cried his heart out.
Ciara closed her eyes as her heart was pounding so hard and achingly.
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And how dare I still have these feelings for him despite the heartache?
She cannot just push the feelings she has for him. She has taken him like a drug in the past, an addiction that she so easily. And the more he’s near her, the more she gets addicted, and the more she wants him so much.
She is so shameless that, despite the pain and the aching for him, the heart that he broke still beats for him. It was himn this time. She cannot love anyone or attempt to be in a relationship with someone else because the moment she fell for she knew she’d be stuck with him forever.
Ciara pulled him up. She lets herself melt into his arms to comfort herself, to forgive herself, and to just let go of what’s hurting her as she hugs him and cries against his shoulder.
“I really hate you to the core. Why do you have to break me and put me back all at once? Why?” she said as her painful cry mingled with it.
Callum hugged her tightly as he buried his face against her neck
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered in his cracked voice. “I’ll make it up to you. We…we will start again, Ciara. This time. I want us to work out. For real. With no secrets. Please give me a chance to prove it to you… to our daughter”
Ciara has never cried in her life as if she has lost something-not that moment when Callum abandoned him, but just at the moment when she learned how to let go of the things that scared her and just accept that some things were meant to have flaws so she could see their indifferences and find ways for the both of them to work things out if they want each other in their lives.
“You don’t know how much I love you in the past, Callum,” she confessed with a heavy heart.
“Please express it loudly. Say it to me. I want you to stop hiding I’ll make you fall in love with me again,” he whispered like It was a curse that Ciara would not be able to revoke
Ciara’s shoulder was rocking. The emotions she tried to hold for the past years, thinking that she would be able to survive alone, stood for her daughter as her strength linally wore off as she felt so weak and tired.
For the first time, she wanted to lean on someone. She wanted to show the scar she’s been hiding for a long time. She wanted to express how deeply he hurt her and that it caused her to isolate herself and just carry it alone.
And to just surrender har strength, just to admit how weak she was and how she was taking it sometimes, made her see how
tired she was
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15:41 Fri, May 31
Chapter 33
“You are so strong for raising our daughter alone, Ciara. You make me so proud. You’ve done it alone. You’ve conquered it. Thank you so much,” he whispered, kissing the side of her head.
Ciara sobbed as she was embraced by the man who hurt her, the man whom she realized she couldn’t unlove.
But what can she do? She couldn’t just accept him in their life until he was able to prove his worth. He had done enough damage to her life and as long as Shane is close to them, her life will never be at peace.
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