Two days passed since I had arrived back at the pack house, and little by little Damian realized when I said I wasn’t doing something–it wasn’t going to happen.
He attempted to get me on the plane the day before but I stood firm in my place and refused to go. There was no talking to me about it… no forcing me to do it. Nothing.
He had my bags packed by the door and even attempted to throw me over his shoulder, but all his methods proved to be useless.
I’m a stubborn woman, and when I say something, I stand my ground.
In the end, he roared in frustration and shut himself in his office with no communication towards me for the rest of the day.
Honestly, it was peaceful.
After giving up on the notion of me leaving, Damian had his s e r v a n t s move me into the main house. He claimed he wanted to make sure I wouldn’t run away or do something s t u p i d.
As if that would actually happen.
I wanted to know where the others were, and I wouldn’t leave until I did.
Determination set into me to find them. To make everything right again, and with that determination, I had found myself so behind in my studies that I was struggling to catch up.
Day and night I went through my textbooks and worked on papers, but no matter the amount of time I spent working hard to achieve my dream, I always felt a mile away.
“Still studying?” Damian’s voice called out as he entered the kitchen.
I had set up a study at the kitchen island while I waited for my pizza to finish a few hours before.
“I don’t know–” I said sarcastically, “all my books and my laptop are out. Is that what it looks like?”
He stood there staring at me through narrowed eyes. “You don’t have to be a b i t c h.”
“That’s rich coming from someone who has been nothing but an a s s h o l e t o w a r d s me since I came to this s t
u p i d town.
Sighing dramatically, he turned towards the fridge and opened it. “Are we really going to keep bickering every time we have a conversation, Ivy? Because if that’s how it’s going to be, you can leave.”
Laughter escaped my lips as I shook my head. “You would like that, wouldn’t you? The only Alpha in history I hear that wants to get rid of his mate. Some Alpha you are.”
“Enough!” He yelled, turning to face me. “I’m tired of this s h i t between us.”
“You and I both.” I snapped, shaking my head, “I miss the conversations I could have with your brothers. Ones where they actually cared about what I thought and how I felt. Conversations we had that were full of meaning and laughter. So, have you found them yet?”
Hesitation filled his dark, sultry eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. He didn’t acknowledge my question, but there was no doubt that he was hiding something from me.
“You have, haven’t you?” I whispered, shaking my head in disbelief. “If you know where they are, we need to go get them.”
“Why, Ivy?” He asked with irritation. “Why do you want to bring them back? So you can torture them some more with the fact they lost their bond to you?”
His statement was a cheap shot at my heart. He knew very well that the bond being severed wasn’t my fault. He was the one who denied it for so long that by the time he wanted to complete it, it was too late.
“Please, Damian,” I whispered, looking down at the book in front of me as I blinked back tears that threatened to fall, “please help me get them back.”
I didn’t want to argue with him anymore. I didn’t want to keep reliving that horrible night in my head every time I closed my eyes.
The only thing I wanted was for them all to be back here, and for us to decide together what we were going to do.
A part of me longed to be back in their arms, but at the same time, a part of me was also scared.
Priscilla said that I had a gift from the goddess of choice.
I was given the choice to accept them all or only the ones of my choosing. No other human or werewolf alive was ever given that choice.
A part of me wondered if that was why Damian was so hesitant because he didn’t know if I would choose them and not him.
The very thought had crossed my mind a few times, but I wasn’t going to make any decisions until I reconciled with them all, and we talked about it.
“Fine.” He replied with reluctance. My eyes quickly darted up to him just in time to see him sigh and run his hand through his hair.
“Fine?” I questioned, unsure of what he meant. “You mean… you know where they are?”
As his eyes met mine, I saw a small ounce of defeat in him as he slowly nodded. “Yeah.”
I never knew that one simple word could fill me with such joy until that moment. Jumping from my seat, I screamed joyfully before running over and throwing my arms around him.
He stood frozen to the spot, and it took me a moment to realize what I had done. His touch created a feeling in me that my body relished, and as much as I wanted to kiss him at that moment, I couldn’t.
As confliction filled me, I stepped back in silence, my eyes looking anywhere but on him. “I’m sorry… I don’t know what came over me. I got a little excited.”
“Yeah, I can see that.” He chuckled as he shook his head. “I will have to see if I can find a way to contact them.”
“Contact them?” I gasped quickly, “why don’t we go get them?”
“It doesn’t seem like you have much time to do anything like that, Ivy.” He replied, looking at my belongings littered across the kitchen counter.
He was right. I was busy trying to get school situated, that I really didn’t have time to do anything else. But at the same time, I didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity to find them.
The choice weighed heavily on me, and as it did, a frown crossed my face.
“Well, where are they?” I asked him as I slowly walked back towards the counter and closed my laptop and my books, shoving them back into my bag.
“Not anywhere close, I’m afraid. When the situation with you happened, they took off, and it took a while to get a small idea of the location they are in.”
Hearing that they had gone so far just to get away from me tore at my heart, and with that pain, a void in my chest opened. I had to find them, no matter the situation.
They were mine as much as I was there, and matebond be d a m n e d, I wasn’t going to lose them. I couldn’t lose them. Since the moment they came into my life, they had each found a place that was special to me.
“School can wait, Damian.” I replied softly, “we have to get them back. I caused these problems and I need to fix it.”
Letting out a deep breath, I watched as Damian leaned against the countertop and thought over what I was saying. “Your father will be back tomorrow. We can leave then.”
Without another wasted moment, Damian quickly turned his back on me and made his way out of the kitchen. Through all the time I had known Damian, he was never the type of person to just willingly agree to do something I wanted.
In fact, most of the time, he acted like he hated me.
It seemed deep down there was a lot about him I didn’t know, and perhaps my entire perception of him had been completely wrong.
“Damian, wait,” I said as I rushed forward.
“What do you want now, Ivy?” He asked with an exhausted sigh. “It’s late, and we both need to get to bed.”
“I just wanted to know why you were suddenly okay with helping me find them,” I mumbled, shrugging my shoulders as I pushed the strap of my bag further up.
Taking a moment, he slowly turned to face me. A void expression on his face as he seemed to consider his next words, “because you are not the only one at fault for what happened. I am as well, and my brothers don’t deserve sorrow because of me.”
It was the first statement I had ever heard him say that was genuinely true. He was taking the blame for his mistakes, and in that light, it made me feel differently about him.
I didn’t trust him completely, but I found a common ground with him at that moment.
“Well, when we find them, we can fix all of this,” I replied, watching as something flickered in his eyes.
As I watched him escape into his office, I couldn’t help but wonder if this trip would fix things with us or if it would push us further apart.
Part of me wanted to smother him and make it look like an accident, but then there was another part that wanted to climb him like a tree and ride him into next year.
Both choices weighed heavily on my mind, and with them, I found nothing but conflict.
“Please help me fix this,” I whispered, praying to a goddess I had never believed in until I came to Idaho.
If she existed, there was a chance she was the only one who could aid in my venture.
Because even though Damian seemed genuine enough to help me.. something inside me made me think otherwise.
